100 Most Entertaining Survivors #74: Ralph Kiser

Ralph Kiser was one of the people on the minority alliance in Survivor 22: Redemption Island. I honestly cannot remember what place he got off of the top of my head, because him, Steve, Julie, and Mike all run together at this point when it comes to the post-merge. Further inspection leads me to see that he was 9th place.




This is Ralph. He is a rough, hairy, brute of a man, and you can't understand a word he says. However, by all objective measurements, he is better at Survivor than Russell Hantz.

The best part about Ralph is that ALL of his dialogue is subtitled throughout the entire season (Note: This might be an exaggeration.) But seriously, a good amount of his dialogue is subtitled because the editors and producers know that you won't be able to follow him. It's nice that the editors were at least self-aware during this horrid season.

I am speaking, of course, of the fact that Ralph found the Hidden Immunity Idol while the self-proclaimed "King of the Hidden Immunity Idol" was waddling around his camp.

See? I told you I could do videos now. Aren't you happy?

Anyway, Ralph walks into Survivor, no one is expecting him to be able to find his way ass backwards into a Hidden Immunity Idol. Not only does he find one without a clue, but he insults Russell in the process. That is a two for one that will melt the heart of any Survivor fan. Note to future Survivors: insult Russell, everyone loves you. (Except Russell). Or "RESTLE" as Ralph called him.

Ralph was also one of the people who orchestrated Russell's exit from the game. If I were Ralph, I would've waved the idol in Russell's face as he left. But that's just me.

The legacy of Ralph doesn't end so happily, however. Ralph ends up becoming a victim of Rob's alliance. He makes no move to try to improve his position in the game. He, along with his alliance, simply accept their fate and try to win at Redemption Island. Note to future Survivors: That is the wrong strategy.

Like many people on this list, it is hard to write about Ralph. Ralph's entertainment came not from a single event, or a multitude of events. Rather, Ralph's entertainment came from his backwoods hick character. And, of course, the almost illegal amount of hair on his body. Next time you watch Redemption Island, please look for the small things, like Ralph, rather than the season as a whole. You just might enjoy it.


Mind you, I said might. Redemption Island is pretty terrible.


Thanks for reading, please rate and comment!

Jeff