100 Most Entertaining Survivors #72: Taj Johnson-George

Taj Johnson George was 4th place on Survivor: Tocantins.




For those of you who don't remember, Taj was one of the breakout characters of Season 18 of Survivor. She came in with a lot against her:

• She was clearly cast to fill an archetype. On Season 17, we had Susie, who sucked. On season 15, we had Sherea, who arguably sucked. On season 14, we had Cassandra, who sucked. On season 12, we had Cirie, who didn't suck but who was afraid of leaves. Taj was cast to be the older ethnic woman who wouldn't make it far. 
• She was rich. Not only is she rich, but she is rich, rich, rich. Her husband is Eddie George, former Heisman winner. Taj was also in a pop singing group. No one was going to award her 1 million dollars. 
• This season's theme was "First Impressions" (or at least it was for a while.) So you have Taj, an older woman who isn't good at challenges and doesn't need the money. If you haven't seen an easier first vote, you're wrong. 

With all that against her, Taj still managed to make it 37 days and be a legitimate threat to win Survivor: Tocantins. She also won the heart of all fans. I'll be the first to admit that I was anti-Taj prior to the season. But man, when she looks realizes that Eddie was coming back to camp with her for a while, if you didn't get the feels when that happened, you have no heart. 

I'm talking, of course, of the auction. At the auction this season, Jeff gave away a video of a family member. The video ended with "See you back at camp" Taj has one of the most heartwarming and most genuine reaction to this. She jumps up and down ecstatically. Unfortunately, I cannot find a .gif of this moment. If anyone knows where I can get one, let me know. 

Basically, that sums up why Taj is so awesome. She is truly one of the most genuine people to play Survivor in recent history. All of her reactions are real. All of her strategy is from someone who isn't a master of the game. All of her "survival" gives off a very "real" feel. Of course JT could Survive on an island, but could someone like me do that? Well, Taj proves that, yes, someone like you could do that. (Of course, Taj wasn't the first one to do this, but on a season with all of the weak people going home early, and leaving all of the young, athletic people, it's nice to see someone who I can relate to get far.)

But, we haven't even gotten to Taj's magnum opus yet: The Exile alliance. 

Before I begin, I recognize that the Exile Alliance never came to fruition. I honestly believe that it is the biggest fakeout in Survivor history (Thanks, editors). Whether they were trying to fake us out, or trying to justify their terrible Exile Island in Tocantins has yet to be seen. However, for about 5 episodes, everyone was thinking "Taj, Stephen, Brendan, and Sierra have a legitimate shot at the final 4."

Anyway, the story goes like this: Exile Island is terribly done this season. The winning team picks someone from the losing team to go to Exile Island, then that person picks someone from the winning team to join them. The two go together. However, Taj and Brendan realized that it became the two of them on Exile Island over and over again. So they take advantage of this. They decide to align. This is smart because A) no one would probably expect it. and B) they have the shot to have two idols. They know that they need some more people, so Taj gets Stephen, and Brendan gets Sierra. The four are agreed to take it to the end. (Now, we know that Stephen was never really with the Exile Alliance, but he did cite it as a possibility). And they got the two HII's. 

Now is the time when the alliance comes to the end. At the merge, Stephen and Taj decided that the alliance wasn't in their best interests. They decided to go with JT and try to take this one on their own with Coach. 

As I stated before, this might be the biggest fakeout in Survivor history. For 5 episodes, the editors shoved this Exile Alliance down our throats. It made people root for Taj and Sierra, two people who had very low popularity among the fans. But, it didn't work out and everyone was sad. 

Oh, also, Taj put up with Coach for 36 days. That right there deserves a million dollars. 

Anyway, thanks for reading. Please rate and comment. 

Jeff

Clue for #71: A person who is mostly remembered for their jury presence, not their gameplay. 

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #73: Natalie Bolton

Natalie Bolton got 4th place on one of the most popular Survivor seasons, Survivor: Fans Vs. Favorites.

She was also a member of one of the most successful alliances in Survivor history.




This is Natalie. She was one of the fans on the original Fans Vs. Favorites. She was also the fan who did the best in the entire season, as the rest were obliterated by the favorites.

Natalie was not only a great strategist in Survivor, she was also a comedy gold mine. Her sadistic attitude and her ability to always stay energetic and strategic made her one of my favorites from the season.

The moment that I knew I was going to like Natalie was in her confessional within the first few episodes. She was talking about how, for the first few days, she was just "going to put her head down and work." It was here where I thought that she was going to do well in the game. In a tribe that was completely falling apart, Natalie knew to let someone else take the reigns, and she would do whatever that person told her to do. Now, many of you are probably saying "But Jeff! What about people like Julia. Julia sucks!" I will say that yes, I know that Julia sucks. The difference here is the confessionals. When the producers actually gave Natalie confessionals, she was dynamic, funny, sadistic, and just an overall great character.



Here is a prime example. Ozzy has just been voted out. Natalie has secured her place in a dominant alliance, and she wants Jason's blood. So she gives quite possibly the best confessional of the season: "I want to rip out his jugular and floss with it."

Now, if certain people say that, I get scared. If Joel were to look at me and say that, I would legitimately be scared for my life. However, when Natalie says it? It's pretty endearing.

Of course, Natalie would get her jugular, as this picture shows:


It's even better when you find out that Jason had the idol. :)

But this isn't even the best of Natalie. She has the auction, which everyone remembers because of amazing screencaps like this:


And this:


During this auction, Natalie sends Jason to Exile Island, and eats more cake than a human should consume.

But we have yet to see the best of Natalie. The best of Natalie comes between two moments, both of which are amazing, and both of which could be considered funnier than the other.

The first is at the final 5. Erik, having won immunity, was going to finally cause a rift in the alliance of four women. That is, until Cirie comes up with the most ridiculous idea ever: See if Erik will give Natalie Individual Immunity. It really is almost laughable when you think about it. But then again, these women got Ozzy voted out with an idol in his pocket. Then they did the same thing with Jason. Then they broke James's finger (ok, not really, but it makes for a better story). And finally, they were able to blindside Alexis with an idol. If there is a group of ladies who are able to pull this off, it is them.

So, Natalie goes and tells Erik that he should give her Individual Immunity. Erik is skeptical, but naive. Natalie keeps pushing him. Going into Tribal Council, no one knew if Erik was going to give it up. But, the four ladies give quite possibly the most amazing tribal council performance I've ever seen on the show. Seriously, the final 5 tribal council in Survivor: Micronesia is up there in the top tribal council ever. It is up there with Episode 2 Nicaragua, Episode 8 Philippines, Merge Episode in Heroes Vs. Villains, and, dare I say it, Episode 7 Borneo and Australia. If you take cultural context out of it (where Australia and Borneo shine), this tribal council is truly amazing. And of course, it works. Which leads to:




Natalie, Parvati, and Cirie laughing while Amanda doesn't know what is going.

Oh, and of course, you can't mention this moment without this picture:


Really, this is an amazing moment in Survivor history. I love it.



But we still have Natalie's jury speech to talk about. Now, to be honest, I could give an effort to tell you just how hilarious Natalie's jury speech is. It's great. However, I know that I won't be able to do it justice. So please, just watch it.



And with that, Natalie's Survivor legacy is (probably) over. She really was a wonderful character in Survivor: Micronesia. Next time you watch it, watch for her little moments. She really makes the season quite enjoyable.


Thanks for reading, please rate and comment!

Jeff

Clue to #72: Her alliance, should it have panned out, could have been one of the best things to happen in her season. But alas, it never came to fruition.

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #74: Ralph Kiser

Ralph Kiser was one of the people on the minority alliance in Survivor 22: Redemption Island. I honestly cannot remember what place he got off of the top of my head, because him, Steve, Julie, and Mike all run together at this point when it comes to the post-merge. Further inspection leads me to see that he was 9th place.




This is Ralph. He is a rough, hairy, brute of a man, and you can't understand a word he says. However, by all objective measurements, he is better at Survivor than Russell Hantz.

The best part about Ralph is that ALL of his dialogue is subtitled throughout the entire season (Note: This might be an exaggeration.) But seriously, a good amount of his dialogue is subtitled because the editors and producers know that you won't be able to follow him. It's nice that the editors were at least self-aware during this horrid season.

I am speaking, of course, of the fact that Ralph found the Hidden Immunity Idol while the self-proclaimed "King of the Hidden Immunity Idol" was waddling around his camp.

See? I told you I could do videos now. Aren't you happy?

Anyway, Ralph walks into Survivor, no one is expecting him to be able to find his way ass backwards into a Hidden Immunity Idol. Not only does he find one without a clue, but he insults Russell in the process. That is a two for one that will melt the heart of any Survivor fan. Note to future Survivors: insult Russell, everyone loves you. (Except Russell). Or "RESTLE" as Ralph called him.

Ralph was also one of the people who orchestrated Russell's exit from the game. If I were Ralph, I would've waved the idol in Russell's face as he left. But that's just me.

The legacy of Ralph doesn't end so happily, however. Ralph ends up becoming a victim of Rob's alliance. He makes no move to try to improve his position in the game. He, along with his alliance, simply accept their fate and try to win at Redemption Island. Note to future Survivors: That is the wrong strategy.

Like many people on this list, it is hard to write about Ralph. Ralph's entertainment came not from a single event, or a multitude of events. Rather, Ralph's entertainment came from his backwoods hick character. And, of course, the almost illegal amount of hair on his body. Next time you watch Redemption Island, please look for the small things, like Ralph, rather than the season as a whole. You just might enjoy it.


Mind you, I said might. Redemption Island is pretty terrible.


Thanks for reading, please rate and comment!

Jeff

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #75 James "Rocky" Reid

James "Rocky" Reid got 12th in Survivor Fiji.






For those of you who don't remember, this is James (left).

Rocky was known for his boisterous attitude towards the game. He is a Bostonian, and a true "manly man."

There are two moments that really get me about Rocky. The first one is during episode 7, when Edgardo sits next to Rocky. Rocky doesn't like this and responds "Scoot over a little man, unless you wanna make out or something."

It's great moments like these that make Survivor so amazing. But Rocky isn't done. In episode 4, he gives one of the greatest quotes to ever be heard on season 14.

After losing a reward challenge, Rocky is visibly angry. He is tired of losing, and he wants to just be done with his tribe. So he decides to go on a rant. He proclaims "If we're gonna lose like this, why don't we just call up Jeff, on the Jeff phone, and tell him, 'Hey, we're ready to go to tribal council'" Call up Jeff on the Jeff phone. Now, as someone named Jeff, I wanted to know why I didn't get a Jeff phone. But that is beside the point. Rocky's quote was great, but especially when it was followed up with a bit of cross dressing.



That's right. After going on his rant, Rocky decided to cheer up his tribe with a little bikini that belonged to (I think) Michelle. Rocky really knows how to make good TV, it's a wonder he hasn't been back.


These are really the two moments that I notice about Rocky. He was incredibly funny throughout the season. His attitude, while at times hostile (especially towards Anthony), was the reason why the first seven episodes of Fiji was so great. Every time Rocky was on the television screen, you knew it.


Thanks for reading, please rate and comment.


Jeff

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #76: Shambo Waters

Shambo got 6th place on Survivor: Samoa.




For those of you who don't remember, this is Shambo. She was on Survivor: Samoa the preview for Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains. I have a lot to say about Shambo, some good, some bad. But one thing is for sure, she was entertaining.

The second Shambo stepped on to the Samoan beach, everyone knew she would be a hoot. While many on her tribe didn't like her, she was definitely fun to watch. I mean, who doesn't look at a train wreck when they drive by? The first thing that Shambo did was ALMOST become leader of her tribe. Fortunately for them, they picked the other Russell, and he made all the right choices.

In episode 2, Shambo's tribe won the reward of fishing gear. This is great, they will be literally eating fish all of the time. This wasn't the case, as Shambo lost the mouthpiece on her first trip out with the fishing gear. It was all Ok, though, as Shambo reported one amazing thing about the ocean: There are fish. This, of course, leads to one of the best confessionals of the season:

That's right folks, I can use gifs now. I could even embed a video of the confessional. But I couldn't find one. I'm just soooo technologically savvy.

This is Laura saying "You'll never believe it, there's FISH in the ocean!"

One of my favorite things about Survivor is when they use another contestant to point out someone's stupidity. They really are masters of that. Even if they don't know how to edit a season, they will never outdo themselves on some of these wonderful little moments.


However, Shambo's ridiculousness doesn't stop there. She is basically crazy the entire season. The next thing that Shambo does is ruin Survivor: Samoa. She gets on Russell's good side and swings the votes his way come the merge. Shambo is so upset with her Galu tribe, that she hands the game to the hobbit from Houston and his little minion gang. I wouldn't necessarily say that I would call this "entertaining" as much as I would "influential." Without Shambo, Survivor: Samoa is a completely different game. Maybe (hopefully) Dave Ball wins. Maybe it's Laura. But what I can say is that it would be different. It would probably even change the course of Survivor history. Or as Russell would say "his-tree".

To be honest, however, Shambo's post-merge game isn't terribly executed. She doesn't expose herself on the first vote (Erik). She doesn't expose herself on the second vote (She knew Russell would use the idol, so she voted for him), and when she exposes herself on the third vote (Laura), everyone is more mad at John because he was the one who flopped in the tiebreaker. By the time her tribe has a beef with Shambo, Russell has the numbers and can do whatever he wants with the game. So, of course, he decides to screw it up and cost himself a million dollars. But that is besides the point. The truth is that Shambo played a pretty good (But not flawless) post-merge game for those 3 rounds, which is really all she needed until the final 6. She wasn't making the decisions, no. But she was conspiring with Russell to make sure that her subversive activities were vieled enough to get her alliance the majority. For that, I give her credit. Now let's talk about Dave Ball.


For some reason, Shambo always had a beef with Dave Ball. Few people had beefs with Dave Ball. In fact, in the his-tree of the world, only one person may have ever been mad at Dave Ball, and that would be Shambo. Dave Ball is an awesome guy. He is (in my opinion) one of the funniest people to ever play Survivor. How could anyone possibly hate Dave Ball? Well, Shambo believes in dream interpretation, that's how.

It's scenes like this that show me that Survivor's editors really do know what they are doing. They simply choose to do the opposite of what they were taught. The Shambo-dream sequence was incredibly well done. Here is a play-by-play of what happened:

Basically, Shambo was cooking her beloved chickens. Dave came up and informed her that cooking a chicken for 2 hours is a really good way to make penny loafers, but not a good way to make edible food. Shambo basically said "I'm really pissed off right now, so shut up." Now, any smart person knows that Dave was correct. Cooking anything but a pot roast for two hours is usually a death sentence. But Shambo was shaken up. So shaken up, in fact, that she got a vision from God that Dave was voted out the next night. Of course that means that God has called upon Shambo to carry out his will of Dave going home. Russell didn't quite agree. And as we all know, Russell's job is to shit on anyone else's good strategies. Shambo's strategy, albeit oddly derived, wasn't a bad idea. Dave was likeable, Dave was good in challenges. Dave was a threat to win the game (my opinion). But Russell can't have someone else calling the shots. Dear God, that's almost like what's going to happen to him a few months later! (Or a few days, as the jury calls the shots, a concept which he never really understood). So Russell took Shambo's idea, took a crap on it, and handed it back to her. The vote was 7-2 to get rid of John. Shambo voted for Dave.


Shambo's jury speech is the last reason that I am writing this post.
First, she calls Mick's game "feckless," which Mick has to look up. That's humorous, but it's nothing compared to what she says to Natalie. "I'm thinking of a word that starts with 'c', can you finish it?"

Now, at this point, everyone in America is thinking the same word. I won't say it here, because this is a public blog that my mom can access, but we all know what is going to come out of Shambo's mouth....

Then she says "Coattails" and everyone in America breathes a sigh of relief.

This is just one of the humorous moments that Survivor (in my mind) has become known for. I suppose what is happening here is that I'm trying to grasp onto anything in an otherwise terrible season that I find enjoyable. If the Survivor editors had given Survivor: Samoa a chance, it really could have been a great season. There are glimpses of brilliance within it, but they just had to focus so much on Russell that it really didn't do justice to the other 19 people on the island.

Ok, rant over. What I'm saying is that you should give Survivor Samoa another chance and look for these little moments that still make it what Survivor is all about.

Anyway, thanks for reading, please rate and comment.


Jeff

100 Most Entertaining Survivors #77: Jason Siska

Jason Siska got 8th place on season sixteen of Survivor. (Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites)



For those of you who don't remember, this is Jason. He is famous for two things on Survivor. One is being a complete idiot. The other is being a complete idiot again. We will talk about said instances chronologically.

The first instance of Jason's idiocy was sparked by Ozzy. Ozzy had been to exile island and had found the Hidden Immunity Idol within about 7 seconds. Because fake idols were the order of the day in season 16, Ozzy had to try out his hand with them. Unlike his successor, Bob, Ozzy's fake idol was.... sub-par to say the least. It looked like this:


Yes, it looked like a stick that got dented when someone dropped it. Of course no one would be fooled by this piece. Of course, as soon as every audience member was thinking that, they saw this:



Jason, exclaiming in joy that he had found the Hidden Immunity Idol. This joy was accompanied with the realization that CBS must have cut Survivor's budget. But he didn't mind, he was safe in the game.

The story doesn't end there, however. As Jason had an ally named Eliza. Eliza is quite a prudent, observant Survivor player. Of course she wouldn't fall for this ruse. Right? Right?



Right. Eliza knew that it was "just a f***ing stick." She made sure Jason knew too. The best part of this whole thing isn't Eliza's new catch phrase. It's Jason's reaction. His indignancy throughout the whole process makes Eliza believe that he is trying to (unsuccessfully) dupe her. No, Eliza, he really is just that daft.

Jason's idiocy, in this instance, didn't cause someone to directly be voted out. Eliza would have gone home with or without a stick. The other thing he is known for, however, did cause in his direct exit.

It was episode 10 of Survivor: Fans Vs. Favorites. The season was good, pretty good actually. But it was about to become great. The immunity challenge was the cliche'd "put your hand over your head for a few hours. Maybe there will be food." Jason and Parvati were the final 2 when Jeff Probst brings out a huge plate of food. The caveat? Someone would have to drop in order for everyone to get the food. The deals start flying. By the end of it, Jason has gotten everyone on the tribe to agree that should he be the one to drop, they wouldn't vote him out. He drops, Parvati gets immunity, and they gorge on candy.

Jason, knowing that no one in Survivor would ever break their word ever, is completely safe. Right? Right?



Right. Ozzy was voted off because of Jason's dumb move. Right? Wrong. Ozzy was voted off because Parvati decided Ozzy should be voted off. In fact, she made it quite clear in a confessional that Ozzy's vote off had NOTHING to do with Jason, but rather with the fact that she wanted Ozzy gone (idol in pocket).

So while that "dumb" move didn't cause Jason to be voted out, it did pave the way for his exit the next episode. Since Ozzy was out of the game, the idol was rehidden. During the auction, Natalie sent Jason to Exile Island. She knew that he would find the idol (which he did) but she wanted him to trust her. And what fun was this game if the person going home doesn't have an idol? I mean, come on.

When Jason gets back from Exile, he is mad at Natalie because he wanted food. She explains to him that he had the f***ing idol and that he should stop being a little b***h. Or maybe she said it nicer than that. Anyway, he now feels comfortable because Natalie likes him, the tribe didn't vote him out last night, and he has an idol. What could go wrong?

Jason loses immunity, and is planning on playing his idol. Until his best friend (spoiler alert: not best friend) tells him that the tribe is planning on voting for James. Oh! Happy Happy Joy Joy. Jason now has a spot in the final 7 with a Hidden Immunity Idol. It almost seems like poetic justice that Jason was voted out with an idol in pocket while attempting to vote James Clement out, a man who was famous for being voted out with an idol in pocket.


All of this lengthly discussion has been a roundabout way to show that for those 3 episodes, Jason Siska was the focus of my attention. He provided us with enough laughs and eye-rolls to last an entire season. It is why he is one of the 100 most entertaining Survivors of all time. It is also why, if I ever go on Survivor, I will never make a deal with Natalie Bolton.


Thanks for reading, please rate and comment.

Jeff




Clue to #76: This person seems to love fish. And Russell Hantz.

Welcome Back to Jeff's Survivor Blog

Hello everybody! I'm back.

As many of you may know, my blog was on hiatus for a while so that I could work on that thing called a job. But, once again, Survivor proves its importance in my life as I miss the blog quite a bit. Since going on hiatus, I have become to co-host of David and Jeff's Survivor Podcast, as well as an Apprentice Podcast that is yet to be named. It's been really fun and I hope that we can talk about the blog a little on the podcast.


If you are new to this blog, I am currently working on a list of the 100 Most Entertaining Survivors. I'm currently working on the entry for #77.

Please puruse, comment, rate and do all of those fun things. Here is a list of the top 100 so far:

#100: Ian Rosenberger
#99: Stephen Fishbach
#98: Terry Dietz
#97: Crystal Cox
#96: Jeff Varner
#95: David Murphy
#94: Gary Hogeboom
#93: Boo Bernix
#92: Paschal English
#91: Christy Smith
#90: Ozzy Lusth (South Pacific)
#89: Sugar Kiper (Gabon)
#88: Sierra Reed
#87: Rodger Bingham
#86: Yul Kwon
#85: Ami Cusak (Vanuatu)
#84: Rory Freeman
#83: Dave Cruser and Sherea Lloyd
#82: Jud "Fabio" Birza
#81: Stephanie LaGrossa (Palau)
#80: Stacey Powell
#79: Clay Jordan
#78: Ethan Zohn (Africa)


Thanks for stopping by the blog. Make sure to leave a comment, rate a post, or disagree completely with me.

Jeff